Want A Friend, Be A Friend

"Want A Friend, Be A Friend" – Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly; but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” The proverb teaches two truths: that friendship requires initiative — if we want good friends, we must also be kind, loyal, sincere and willing to serve — and that there are friendships so deep they surpass even family ties. In times of great self-will, where each person sits on the throne of his own kingdom, there will be no friends; and without sowing there is no harvest, and the hands are left empty. The study walks through Proverbs 18:24, Proverbs 17:17, John 15:13-15 — where Jesus, the perfect friend, lays down His life and stops calling us servants — Proverbs 27:9 and 27:6 on the counsel of a friend and the faithful wounds of one who loves, and closes with the kiss of Judas in Luke 22:48 and Matthew 26:50.

I. Want a friend, be a friend.

A. Whoever wants a friend must make a friend, and there a hard, demanding process begins.

1. Today friends are not wanted, because we love ourselves so much we live only for that.

2. These are times of great self-will: who boasts more, who has more.

B. We are willful: we build a kingdom and sit on its throne.

1. Where that happens there will be no friends; and every day we need a friend.

C. Life is only one, and what is lost does not come back.

1. When the years run out, the opportunities run out.

2. We must invest in others; one dies and takes nothing along.

II. Two truths in Proverbs 18:24.

A. Friendship requires initiative.

1. If we want good friends, we must be kind, loyal, sincere and willing to serve.

2. A true friend is not what we imagine: we look for our own convenience.

B. There are very deep friendships: a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

1. It highlights the worth of a true friendship built on love and faithfulness.

III. He who has friends must show himself friendly.

A. To cultivate true friendship one must act with love, loyalty, respect and willingness to help.

1. Friendship is not sustained by receiving alone: it also requires giving.

2. You give what you have; no one has to give lobster.

B. We think we live entirely alone and that nothing will ever happen.

1. No one knows when tomorrow's trouble comes, and trouble always comes.

C. A faithful friend stays even when some relatives cannot or are not present.

1. For the believer, the perfect example of that faithful friend is Jesus Christ.

IV. A friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17).

A. True friendship is cultivated: you come to know the deeds, day by day, over the years.

B. Wanting friends is not enough: one must be trustworthy, loyal, kind and willing.

1. Genuine friendship requires love, faithfulness, commitment and self-giving.

2. Friendship involves two people; it is not one-sided.

C. “And a brother is born for adversity.”

1. Some friends stay firm through the hardest trials of our lives.

2. A friend does not judge you nor interrogate you about how it all began.

V. No greater love (John 15:13-15).

A. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

1. These words anticipate His sacrifice on the cross, where He gave His life willingly.

2. And for whom did He give it? For those who become His friends.

B. Friendship with Jesus is shown in obedience.

1. Obedience does not earn His friendship: it is evidence of a genuine relationship with Him.

C. “No longer do I call you slaves… I have called you friends.”

1. The slave only carried out orders; to friends Jesus reveals the Father's plan.

2. In calling us friends He shows closeness, confidence and communion.

3. The Son intercedes at the Father's right hand and the Spirit makes us intercede and groan.

VI. The sweet counsel of a friend (Proverbs 27:9).

A. In antiquity aromatic oils and perfumes were symbols of joy, honor and well-being.

1. As a good fragrance comforts, there is something more valuable: a friend's counsel.

B. A true friend offers sincere counsel, born of love and of the desire for our good.

1. His words bring direction, encouragement, correction and wisdom.

2. Correction must not wound the mind: it is seasoned with love and compassion.

3. What you bled out of another will come back to you.

VII. Faithful are the wounds of a friend (Proverbs 27:6).

A. A true friend shows his love by telling the truth, even when it hurts.

1. The one who loves goes directly and warns, instead of gossiping.

2. Not with aggression: that is not discipline, it is the anger one carries.

B. The wounds stand for correction and sincere words that help us grow.

1. They are faithful because they come from someone who loves us and seeks our good.

2. Correction is uncomfortable, but its purpose is to protect and guide us.

C. “Deceitful are the kisses of an enemy”: flattery and insincere shows of affection.

1. Honest correction is better than false praise.

2. Distrust whoever never corrects nor speaks with honesty.

VIII. Judas and the kiss (Luke 22:48; Matthew 26:50).

A. “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”

1. The hypocrisy of using affection to carry out the arrest.

2. “Friend, do what you have come for,” Jesus said to him.

B. Judas despised the best friend he could ever have had.

1. Where there is no sowing there is no harvest, and the hands are left empty.

2. Then love, sincerity, affection and the doing of good are all lacking.

3. Want a friend, be a friend; want to be loved, learn to love.